Astromixology

By | January 30, 2012

Mixology cover
Whenever I’m looking for a drink recipe, I first seek out my trusty Mixology pamphlet, courtesy of the Southern Comfort Corporation, ca. 1974. What better source could there be for cocktail recipes than a pamphlet that mixes astrology with photos of swinging dudes in gaudy polyester leisure suits accompanied by the smiling Stepford wives. Sure, this guy is in a pretty reasonable looking sweater, but steel yourself now for what is to come.

Back in the 70’s, subliminal messaging was a controversial topic. I remember running across a book from that same year called Subliminal Persuasion that had a lot of images from advertising and movies with supposedly embedded suggestive words and images, primarily of a sexual nature. Check out the Subliminal Manipulation blog if you don’t sex believe me.

Take a closer look at the hair of the guy on the Mixology cover. Now, think about other parts of a man’s body. Good luck getting this image out of your head (no pun intended) anytime soon. I’m really, really sorry.

Next up we’ve got a dude confidently sporting a pink suit. The previous sentence is the only known sentence on the internet including the words dude and pink suit, but not the word pimp. Ignore the faint yellow polka-dots. I double-checked the pamphlet and they must be a scanning artifact. I was so hoping they weren’t, though. I think my scanner understandably puked on the image.

Almost everyone knows his Zodiac sign today. But few have any real knowledge of astrology.

Intent of astrology data herein is simply to inform, not to advise. Therefore any personal application is the individual’s responsibility.

Check out Mr. quilted pants on the left. What grandmother wouldn’t want to see her granddaughter coming home with a nice boy wearing a handmade quilt? OK, besides any grandmother with something against hobos. Those pants are so appalling that I almost didn’t notice the crazy blue plaid suit in the back. He’s channeling Rodney Dangerfield from Caddyshack, but coming up well short. Powder blue cardigan boy looks positively normal in this photo.

If your party kilt is at the drycleaner, a full tartan suit is always a great substitute. It’s a little hard to see, but, yes, those are matching pants. Fortunately, I don’t think it’s the royal Stewart tartan. Too bad his promiscuous plaid partner up front isn’t in a matching tartan. I can’t identify the tartans for certain due to the cumulative retinal scarring, but I’m suspecting they’re variants of the Montgomery Ward tartan.

If you’re daring and desperate for the full pamphlet in a high enough resolution to actually read it, download the 2 MB zipfile.

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